We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
