I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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