You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
