guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
