Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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