Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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