Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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