Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
