worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
