Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
