i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
