The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
