Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
