CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
