She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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