I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
