my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
