Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you win again, gameday.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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