my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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