I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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