hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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