He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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