oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
