the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think people are normalizing furries
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
