"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
