I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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