FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
