Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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