11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i dont even know how to be here
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She bit a glass in half.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
