and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
