There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize