All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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