her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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