hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
