I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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