That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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