RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
please come you make the beer taste better
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
