what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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