kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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