All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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