Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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