I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
