it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
