Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
