he wants to bone in the snuggie
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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