Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
