Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
