moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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