You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
