I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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